Pastor a simulated church and create your own Christian empire Build a church from the ground up Hire and fire staff Deal with idiots, naive volunteers, and denominational egos Attract fickle unchurched people with Bingo, revival meetings or fasting--it is all up to you!
Take weekly offerings and go over budget Start your own radio or cable-access show Attend the latest conference to hone your skills Implement the latest ministry fad Review weekly attendance and giving records Earn points with God by winning souls for Christ With network play enabled, you can steal members from other churches and earn points just like you saved them yourself. The possibilities are endless! To grow your church, work on all the strategic variables,
Write a mission statement Choose a logo Get a billboard Hire a professional musician Buy plasma television for your PowerPoint presentations Prayer, study and preparation get thrown in there too--and the mysterious (or fickle) will of God! Deal with real-life scenarios including,
Troublesome board members Elderly donor who wants to buy a new organ A son starts using drugs Your trusted deacon sleeps with your secretary The city starts a construction in front of your building Offering stolen Denominations and Bible colleges use it to prepare potential church planters or associate pastors. It is better than an internship!
Do it all without a degree, license or even the Bible! Just like Joel Osteen
Thanks Monster - now excuse me while I go throw up my supper....
Remember folks - "the higher amount gets you closer to God" $$$$$$$$
