This article was shared with me by a member of this board. I thought it may do some good to post it, in hopes it will make some people think twice befor posting.
Cyberbullying is becoming a major problem on the internet. It is something that is not understood by many people until they actually come face-to-face with it. Because bullying on the internet tends to be more psychological than physical, many people are apt to dismiss it out of hand. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" does not apply here. Words are the very medium of the internet and they can be used with devastating effect.
It's not also limited to children bullying children, either. Many adults have become victims of cyberbullies as well. They're bewildered to find themselves singled out, treated differently from other people in their online group, marginalized, ignored, sidelined, overruled. They'll find that everything they say is being twisted or distorted. Their reputation is trashed. It doesn't help to quit a group and walk away from the situation. The bullies will often follow them online from forum to forum, group to group, chat to chat.
It doesn't take much to become the victim of a cyberbully. For children, the bullying often starts in the playground and is taken online. For adults, the bullying often starts online, usually with an innocent remark that is taken the wrong way. As internet users, our communication with each other is truncated because it is limited to the written word, and possibly a few emoticons. Sometimes someone is perceived as a cyberbully when a remark is taken out of context. Then a flame war results.
Either way it starts, cyberbullying can morph easily into cyberstalking and even stalking in the real world. It may get to the point where third parties are required to become involved. Legal intervention may also become necessary.
Even if it doesn't get that far, the bullying can have devastating effects on it's victims. They'll manifest symptoms such as stress, tension headaches, migraines, sleeplessness, nightmares, irritability, poor concentration, depression, shattered self-confidence, low self-esteem and more. In the long term, it may result in the victim requiring physical or mental health care, or possibly both.
Why do cyberbullies act the way they do?
Boiled down to it's essence, bullying is about power. A cyberbully wants to put their victim in distress, Therefore the bully will embark upon a series of repeated, intentionally cruel actions against the victim that are intended to hurt or humiliate them. Reacting to the bully only serves to confirm their feeling of power. Their online mission has succeeded in their own minds.
Many cyberbullies work to convince their online peers to exclude or reject a victim. Their mission is to cut the victim off from their social connections. Once the person leaves or is 'banished' from the group, this serves to confirm the cyberbully's sense of power.
The internet tends to provide people with a false sense of security, and thus makes it easier for people to do things they think they can 'get away with.' People will say things online that they would never say to another person face-to-face. They have a sense of being removed from their actions and the people they are tormenting.
Bullies bully because they can. They've gotten away with that type of behaviour in the past and so they keep on repeating it. Unfortunately many victims never speak up. Many other people are also afraid to speak up against the bully. They are afraid that if they do, that will put them in the cyberbully's radar and they will be the next person to be victimized. This reinforces the bully's belief that they are untouchable.
How to deal with internet bullies
Usually the best response is no response at all. If you react with anger, then the bully wins the round. If you react at all, the bully wins - they want the attention. Ignore them long enough and they'll do either one of two things. They'll get bored and go away They'll increase their efforts to get your attention. Hopefully they'll get to the point where they do something so colossally stupid that you can report to their ISP and get them kicked off the internet. Don't post a long dramatic good-bye message to your internet friends. That is blatantly out-and-out telling the cyberbully that they've won. You validate their actions and make them feel like they can get away with more of the same behaviours.
Document every action against you. Create a private space online that exists solely for the purpose of collecting their mean-spirited posts, insults, slander, etc. If need be, you have evidence to back you up should you have to go legal on them.
If you run a message board and see a cyberbully victimizing someone on your message boards, don't let the message stay on the boards. If necessary, moderate the cyberbully so that they know that they are being watched and documented.
The law and cyberbullies
Different parts of the world have different methods for dealing with cyberbullies. Unfortunately in many instances it is difficult to get law enforcement officials and ISPs to take cases of cyberbullying seriously.
In Canada it is a crime to communicate repeatedly with someone if your correspondence causes them to fear for their own safety and the safety of others. Many other countries and ISPs do take communicated threats very seriously. In one instance that I know of personally, a person threatened to send someone else's computer a virus and then followed through on it. Even though the incident happened across international borders, the bully's connection to the internet was terminated by their ISP.
In many places it is also a crime to publish defamatory libel. In Canada that means publishing anything (this includes posts on message boards) without lawful justification or excuse that is intended to insult a person or damage their reputation by exposing them to hatred, contempt or ridicule. A defamatory libel may be expressed directly or by insinuation or irony.
A cyberbully may also be committing a Human Rights violation if their bullying spreads hate or discrimination based on race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, age, sex, sexual orientation, marital status, family status or disability.
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The truth wins out over slick PR and personal attacks.
The Christ Church Plan for the redevelopment of 140 Green Pond Rd is just too big for the area.
Thanks for posting that, Lisa - very interesting indeed ...
Here's something I found while trying to do a google search on the subject of 'cyber-baiting.' It's from: http://www.bullyonline.org/related/cyber.htm ... I think it's appropriate given the weird cyber-baiting (imo) that's over at the nj.com messageboard.
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The objectives of bullies are Power, Control, Domination, Subjugation. They get a kick out of seeing you react. It doesn't matter how you react, the fact they've successful (sic) provoked a reaction is, to the bully, a sign that their attempt at control have been successful. After that, it's a question of wearing you down. The more your try to explain, negotiate, conciliate, etc the more gratification they obtain from your increasingly desperate attempts to communicate with them. Understand that it is not possible to communicate in a mature adult manner with a disordered individual ....
The Number One rule for dealing with this type of behaviour is: don't respond and don't engage. This is not as easy to do as it sounds. It's a natural response to want to defend yourself, and to put the person right. However, never argue with a serial bully; it's not a mature adult discussion, but like dealing with a child or immature teenager; whilst the serial bully may be an adult on the outside, on the inside they are like a child who's never grown up - and probably never will.